Notes on Heartbreak: From Vogue’s Dating Columnist, the must-read book on love and letting go

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There are certain procedures I continue to follow, like looking over at a friend’s phone to see if the person who just messaged is him, and if so, is he talking like a happy person? This pulled on all the heartstrings and I wish there‘d be a second installment at some point so I can check in with Annie and where she‘s at in life. It’s a memoir, I guess, which is usually a hard no from me, but then it doesn’t read like a memoir, and it doesn’t follow the usual formula for memoirs either, and in some ways, it also nudges into self-help without actually being a self-help book.

it is an unflinchingly honest account of the simultaneous joy and pain of being in love that will resonate with anyone who has ever nursed a broken heart. Yet, I regularly work weeks like this and my whole life is about juggling, so why, with a book I was enjoying so much, was it taking me so long to read? Whereas it’s mad how terrible heartbreak is and you feel you’re never going to get through it but you do. Heartbreak makes us selfish, inward-looking creatures who believe that our pain is so large, surely no one else had ever felt this way before, and surely there is no way out. I suppose I’m anxious, but it feels more like excitement, anticipation, as though I’m off to a house party later or going on holiday in the morning.Like most people I tend to shy away from the ugly parts of myself, denying their existence from myself and others.

Enquanto recupera de uma desilusão amorosa, Annie Lord revisita o passado desde o momento em que se apaixonou pela primeira vez, as piadas partilhadas e a familiaridade de um relacionamento longo, até aos meses que viram a lenta erosão de um vínculo que estava há cinco anos em construção. Whether you’ve had a big defining heartbreak in your life, or a series of little heartbreaks that amount to one, you will find this work captivating and worthwhile. I thought I knew everything he was thinking, which friends he was annoyed with, the consistency he liked his porridge. Even when I said, ‘I don’t think I was very sympathetic to things he was going through,’ people would be like, ‘no, he’s a bellend,’ or whatever.I'm talking about the proper, identity-shaking type of break-up: the ones that feel like illnesses, where you can't eat for months and then do something weird, like get a 70s fringe or adopt a chihuahua. I'm not talking about the kind you have at school or uni where you see someone for a few months and then they stop messaging, or one of you kisses someone else, and you feel a bit shit about it. As Annie Lord deals with her broken heart, the book constantly revisits the past, from the moment she first fell in love, to the months that saw the slow erosion of a bond five years in the making. He wants someone easier,’ or ‘oh, he’s just going through a personal crisis and he’s taking it out on me because I’m the easiest thing to let go of. Thank you for sharing your story so bravely and honestly, and I wish you much happiness as you keep moving on.